I love my self professed neat freak, & clueless about hoarding friend like a sister. I hope I can get past the hurt.

I've had another sleepless night.

 I went to a women's dinner party last night. I didn't want to go but I had already committed and couldn't get out of it. My self professed neat freak, and clueless about hoarding friend from my previous blog was there. She was sitting at a table and motioned for me to come sit next to her, but I shook my head and sat in the closest chair I could get to where the table was mostly full. My emotions are still tender and I wasn't ready to talk to her, so I avoided her completely. I even left early so she couldn't find me after.

I still love my friend like a sister. She has done so much for me. We've had some really great times together. And I believe we will have more.

But for now my feelings are still to raw. She didn't respect me enough to believe me when I told her she couldn't help me. And any attempt to do so would hurt me and make my depression and frustration worse. She wouldn't understand that her actions have caused me to dive into such paralyzingly depressed state that I've already lost two days.

I wish I could just pull out of it. I hate feeling this way.

I know that when people are hurting, the ones closest to them just want to make it all better. Sometimes they can, but sometimes the can't. Knowing and excepting when they can't is the hard part.